SANTANDER PART 2

It never ceases to amaze me that some big businesses do not seem to have a sense of humour. I am referring specifically to my new Bank, Santander. I think they must have a sense of humour to charge me £25 for a very minor mishap with my bank accounting, not once but twice. I thought, therefore, that Santander would be game for a laugh so I sent them a poem which was quite obviously very tongue in cheek. This is on a previous blog “Santander Saturday 24th September 2011”. I received a response today. This response was from the Complaints Department. I did not send my e-mail as a complaint; I sent it as “general feedback and other enquiries”.

It also amazes me that there is so much unemployment when companies set aside a whole department just to deal with complaints. With this in mind I may even write to the Financial Ombudsman Service as suggested in Santander’s letter. They also sent me a leaflet “how to complain, we are serious about resolving your complaint”. As they have gone to so much trouble in encouraging me to make a complaint, I feel duty bound now to do so. I am pleased to think I am playing a part in keeping these banking officials in gainful employment. I do believe that if I complain I will still not receive the £100 I first requested, but I will be helping in my own small way to support my Bank, who does seem to be a little bit strapped for cash. This is my response to their response to my poem:-

SANTANDER PART 2

I have received a letter from you today
And I’m so shocked I can hardly speak
That you’ve taken the time to write to me
Re my poem that was quite tongue in cheek.
It would have been rather nice
If you had credited my account
Considering there’s no money in there
I’m overdrawn by a considerable amount.
I do, however think, that cos of what you did
Adding charges twice to my account
When I was overdrawn by only 4 quid.
I don’t know how you can justify
Charges of twenty five pounds
And how you come up with this figure
Tell me please, what are the grounds?
I would like to draw your attention
To “ my facilities and benefits remained intact”
I’m afraid I have to disagree
Cos this is not the fact.
With my faster payments service
You were sadly not on the ball
And the tenner that I sent to my son
He did not receive faster at all.
So although your letter is well written
Very articulately
You may think you raise some valid points
But sadly you don’t convince me.
Although my e-mail is not a complaint
Just an observation
I still think you should give me a hundred quid
Go on, go on, go on!!

I am confident that Santander will deal with this in the same professional way they dealt with my last “complaint”.

I look forward to hearing from them in due course.

SANTANDER

My flat is empty of life forms apart from Baby Niamh curled up on one of the old lady chairs and Ruby snuggled up on the old lady settee with her nose buried in Susie Warner’s furry pink cushion. I am not working today so I suppose this would be the ideal opportunity to clean the flat. I’m not in a domestic goddess mood. I have looked in my bedside cabinet for some reading glasses. I found 4 spectacle receptacles and opened each one with eager anticipation. Not one of them had any reading glasses in. I threw them all back in the drawer and slammed the drawer in disgust. No doubt next time I am looking for reading glasses I will go through the same rigmarole again, not remembering that I had already done this before. It would have been better if I had removed the spectacle receptacles there and then. Well ….. it’s not as if I have so much to do now I don’t have time to go looking through empty glasses cases. Anyway, it’s easy to get distracted when you’re not fully committed to the job in hand so I’ve been watching the American X Factor. During the adverts and whilst I was in the kitchen making a brew, I heard a Santander advert. Santander is my new bank. This is not a bank I chose myself. It is the bank that “took over” the Alliance and Leicester. They also changed all the paperwork, the design and colour of my bank statements and increased the charge of my overdraft facility by 100%. Changing everything does not necessarily make it better. It appears that I am to bear the brunt of the costs for these changes by Santander surreptitiously adding the 100% increase to the charge for my overdraft facility. I have written a poem and sent it via secure e-mail to Santander. If these wealthy bankers have a conscience I will soon have £100 in my bank account.

This is the poem:-

I’ve just seen an advert on telly
About switching to Santander
If you do you’ll get a £100
But I think that’s just not fair.
The reason that I think this
Is cos I banked with A & L
Who were taken over by Santander
So I should get £100 as well.
I was happy with A & L
It wasn’t my choice to switch
And the transition did not go too smoothly
Or sadly without a hitch.
The payments and transfers facility
I use to send cash to my son
With the faster payment service
When he finds that his cash has all gone.
I transfer the occasional tenner
Into his student account
And if you look at the state of my finances
It’s a relatively high amount.
But during the merge with my bank
The faster payment did not go through
And my poor boy was left penniless and starving
And did not know what to do.
Therefore as a gesture of goodwill
And so I keep my overdraft with you
Could you credit my account with £100
I think that’s the least you could do.
I have not put a question mark
It’s a rhetorical question you see
And the charges you’ve added to my account
I’d be obliged if you returned them to me.