THE INEPT SHOPLIFTER

Yesterday evening, a rather inept shoplifter helped himself to a large case of Thornton’s Milk Chocolate Collection from the Co-op where I work. These are on offer, reduced from £11.00 to £5.00. He was seen carrying these chocolates out of the Co-op without paying for them. Not by me, I hasten to add. I am relaying this story as told to me by Colette. I have been on a conflict course setting out the procedure should we spot a customer leaving the Co-op without paying for his/her shopping. We do not under any circumstances chase the assailant or try to make a citizens arrest. This led to the shoplifter being able to hot foot it down the road laden with several large boxes of Thornton’s chocolates.

This shoplifter had not taken into account the sharp eyed neighbourhood watch team or the fact that a local police officer lived quite close to the bus stop. This is the bus stop where he was seen sitting holding on to these chocolates. These are quite large boxes of chocolates and far too big to fit in a Co-op carrier bag or even a large bag you would expect an experienced shoplifter to use.

I do not know why this gentleman decided to hang around this residential area with a sharp eyed neighbourhood watch team for 2 hours. I do not use the local bus service but I do believe it is a very good bus service even in the evening. His failure to plan his getaway more thoroughly resulted in him being arrested at the bus stop by our local police officer (I won’t mention Phil’s name as I do not wish to blow his cover) and taken away with the Thornton’s Chocolates as evidence. I am doubtful these chocolates will be returned to the Co-op. Forensics still has my jacket which was taken away as evidence when the Co-op was the victim of an armed robbery and I was man handled by one of the masked men – this was in January. I was asked at work last week if I would like a new warm fleece. I said yes please. If I do get my old one back it will no doubt be covered in Thornton’s chocolate.

I would suspect that as the culprit was caught red handed (with chocolate on his hands) the Thornton’s chocolates can be returned immediately.