Been for a day out with my mate Kev. Been mates with Kev for 20 years but we both moved and lost touch for a bit. It was much harder to find him because he is not on Facebook. We are both 54. Kev is a brilliant singer a writer of songs and a guitarist. He was in a band in the late 70’s early 80’s. He could have been a rock star but he chose to veer off the path of fame and fortune for the sake of love, a love that lasted 15 years. Kev is single now like me. He’s a grumpy old man and I’m a grumpy old woman but we can both laugh about it now and talk about hindsight, what might have been and how life would have been so different if only…..
Kev was made redundant last year. He’s worked all his life. He might lose his house 'cos he can’t pay his mortgage. He’s selling it for a knock down price before it gets repossessed.
Kev’s great, and like me, he too can laugh in the face of adversity. Today we got onto the subject of the menopause. Kev knows I am suffering/going through/dealing with the menopause. Kev, Molly, Ruby, Niamh (our collective dogs) and me all walked up a quite a big hill. We stopped half way up so I could get my fan out. Heat wave + hot flush, not good. Bloody hot flushes, bloody menopause I said. Kev said “what is the menopause, is that when you have a pause from men?” So I said yes Kev, I think it is. How can you possibly consider romance when you wake up in the middle of the night, dripping with sweat, stuck to your duvet, to find your dog feasting off the sweat on your forehead? Then we got to talking about Always Ultras. These are some of my ideas to use them now I no longer have a need.
Although I no longer need Always Ultra
I’ve found a use for them now
I can lie down with one pressed
Onto my sweaty brow!
Another use for Always Ultras
I may well start a trend
I could use them as a book mark
When I ‘m reading Peoples Friend
Now I’m on a roll
I might design some posters
I can cut my Always Ultras out
And turn them into coasters!
And what about some insoles
To put inside your shoes
I still have 2 packets of Ultras
For which I have no use!
Anyway, Kev came up with a brilliant idea and we are wondering if we should take it to Dragon’s Den. This is what he said, we could use them to make Para gliders for Barbie dolls and sell them on e-bay!
Any comments on this would be most welcome.
Too funny!!! ME, I use my old tampons as Q-Tips, and in a worse case scenario, ear plugs at the rock concert my grand-daughter drags me to....they work GREAT! They look a little odd, but at my age, and during menopause, who really cares? We will eventually forget the whole embarrassing event anyways....of course due to CRS..."Can't remember Shit!". You GO girl!!!! Love it!
ReplyDeleteHere's me sitting here sweating and trying to remember what day it is in the UK and you are sitting there sweating in Canada. I reckon between us we could create our own waterway from the sweat from the hot flushes and we should be able to generate enough electricity with the heat from the hot flushes and with the Always Ultras sewn together to make a parachute………..Low cost world travel!!
ReplyDeleteTHE MENOPAUSE
I’ve been on the Holland and Barrett
Internet shopping site
‘Cos these hot flushes I’m having
Are making me feel like shite.
I was on HRT
I took it for 5 years
But then when I went to the doctor
She confirmed my worst ever fears.
She said you’ll have to stop
I think it’s for the best
Cos there’s a very good chance
You’ll get cancer of the breast.
So now I’m either hot or cold
I get in such a tizzy
And it’s horrible being sweaty
When you are very busy.
So I’ve found some soya capsules
And of the ones I’ve seen
Some should have been £16.39
But are reduced to £8.19.
Tomorrow I’m off work
So I’m going to go to town
And the way that I am feeling
I might buy some booze to swallow ‘em down.
Someone said that they can last
Until you’re seventy as well
And although I very rarely swear
I did say f**king hell!!